When it Rains it Pours

When it Rains it Pours

(This too shall pass but not be forgotten)

 

 

****I realize I hardly post anything... unless it is a big event in which this is a small form of therapy for me. Plus when can I find the time to just sit and write, when I have two energetic boys who keep me on my toes?!

 

 

Well where do I begin, about 8 weeks ago we were spending time with family and I had this amazing experience! We were all watching Big Hero 6 and eating popcorn, while at the same time it was silent.... dead silent. I was sitting there watching everyone and then I looked at my husband and a sweet humble voice said, "you need to have a baby now." -------- I sat there and couldn't really focus on the movie anymore, I just kept thinking about what had just happened. Then everyone went to bed and I just couldn't sleep... Eventually Nate (my husband) asked what I was thinking about... eventually I told him, I told him "This is crazy! We have a baby! We hardly sleep as it is! We would need to get a new car! The guest room might not be a guest room!" But I could not deny what I heard and felt.

 

The next day we went to the Tri Cities Temple for some friends who were being sealed. I went in praying in my hear,t that I might get a second confirmation of us needing to have a baby. But through out the entire temple trip I just felt calm and at ease. The thought kept coming to my mind of why do you need to be told again, wasn't the first time clear enough?!

 

There it was my second confirmation.

 

 

A COUPLE WEEKS LATER....

 

We are PREGNANT! I was so excited and yet so terrified of what this pregnancy was going to be like... (pregnancies are often full of throwing up and severe back pain for me). I was nervous to tell anyone thinking that they would think we were crazy! especially my mother. However we then decided we would tell just our parents and those who are physically really close to us. We thought hey we are going to surprise everyone in nine months on Facetime with a new baby!

 

 

HOWEVER.... I started bleeding and cramping. I went in to the DR. and she said I was most likely getting ready to miscarry. I was heart broken.... We left the Dr's and I went to go coach my soccer team that day.... The whole weekend was full of tears and confusion.... Why did I have such a spiritual experience for this to happen?

 

I went back to the Dr for an ultrasound and had my blood work done. My pregnancy hormones SKY ROCKETED, and the sac was growing!!! I kept telling myself don't get your hopes up, but I did and I thought if  I just keep my faith up, maybe this pregnancy will further along.

 

I went back to the Dr for another ultrasound and everything was still growing however my Pregnancy hormones didn't go up as drastically, The doc told me that I would need to schedule a D and C because they couldn't find the heartbeat yet.  I was confused again... I decided that I wasn't going to have the D and C for a couple of weeks because I felt that, What if it just takes a bit longer for this baby? I have read of many stories online that it just took an extra week to find the heart beat.

 

THEN our sweet sweet Caius was admitted to the hospital on Friday June 5, 2015 because of "Bronchiolitis" although we had many medical people telling us it was RSV... Apparently RSV can lead to Bronchiolitis. I was laying on the hospital bed with Caius and I started to cramp pretty bad.... Low and behold I was miscarrying twins. One was not as developed as the other. The only thing we can come up with is that one of the twins didn't make it very long and was being miscarried while the other was trying to survive while my body was trying to get rid of it. Luckily the nurses were very kind especially Francine. She was there for Nathan and myself, holding my hand while I just cried and cried.

 

Sad doesn't even describe what I am feeling. I don't even know how to describe what I am feeling, I have never felt this way. But if I could try to explain it, I feel lost, part of me is missing. Terrified for the future if I am going to miscarry again. Terrified to want another baby because i don't want those babies to feel replaced. (I know that will eventually go away but it is definitely a thought in my head right now.) I sit and think of what those twins would have been like. Would they have been girls or boys or one of each?! I am angry because I don't know why Heavenly Father feels like I needed to go through that. It's an experience prior to me being apart of it, that I never would wish upon anyone. I feel so alone, I have a few good people here for me. I know of others who have went through this but I just feel like I am suffering alone. I know my Heavenly Father is here for me at all times, and I know he can heal broken hearts of which mine feels shattered. I also know that things like this take time to heal.

 

I know the church is true. I know I will feel peace again. I know I will meet those sweet spirits one day. So as it is, I figure I am a mom to two great and wonderful boys and two little angels. Counting my many blessings...

 

 

---The White House Mom

 



We aren't your "Ordinary" Family, and that's OK with US...

INTRODUCTIONS:

This is my wonderful husband Nathan and me, Serita! We were married in December of 2013, it's weird it feels like we have been married decades and yet it hasn't even been a full year :) We met on LDSsingles.com and well after hours and hours of skyping for a couple of months we just knew we were meant to be together! I love this man so much it's CrAzY!!! He is oober doober smart and in tune with our needs individually and as a whole family. I am a stay at home mom and PrOuD of it!!! I will get to the children in a moment :) 

We have some funny quirks to us:

~~~ In high school he was the band intellect and I was the super sporty athletic girl~~~

~~~ I love SpIcY food, and he likes the calm not so spicy food ~~~

~~~ He is a major thinker and looks at every avenue before making a purchase...AND I"M A FEMALE for goodness sakes... I like it to be a good deal but i don't spend half the time he does when investing in anything ~~~

~~~I cook/grill and he bakes! (match make in heaven!) ~~~

While we do have some differences we have the most important things in common.

We love each other so much that we don't let anything get in the way of that. We have the same beliefs. We are active members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We are in sync when it comes to making decisions. We don't "fight" we talk about things instead, that WE need/want to work on. We love to make the other one happy and rarely does it cost a dime to do that. We enjoy the simple things in life, we enjoy each others company and the great conversations that can last through the entire night. We aren't perfect but each day we strive to be a better wife/husband, mother/father, and friend to one another.

This is Liam! He is our very active two year old! We love him to pieces, he is constantly running to give you a kiss or a hug. He is very smart and right now his hobbies include building with blocks and legos, finding rocks, getting what he wants out of the fridge and sneaking it into his room..., coloring, drop kicking balls in the hallways-trying to knock pictures down, and jumping on our bed like a crazy monkey! Liam loves being a big brother, he loves to help bathe his little brother and throw the diapers away.. Every morning he will whisper to Caius, "you awake baby? you awake?" it's super cute!

This is Caius! He is our 2 week and 1 day old baby :) He is such a blessing in our lives, and his hobbies include sleeping, grunting, rolling to his side, eating, and pooping. Caius came into this world with a boom and well I wouldn't expect any less from our children. I will post the birth story another day... So another wonderful fact about Caius is that he has Down Syndrome, we say wonderful because we believe he is one of the most choice spirits of our Heavenly Father. I think of it as he has this body here on earth that is a tabernacle for his triumphant spirit. We believe that he fought so hard for our Heavenly Father in the preexistence that he got the body he did to protect him from the worldly harm. That maybe he won't see/understand some of the cruelty that there is in the world because of the Down Syndrome. He is an angel and we are so excited for him to be our son! We are excited to see the adventures we will be on, and to see the great and marvelous impact he will have on even the hardest of hearts.